It does not get any easier!

Everyone I meet or see tell me the same thing it will get easier. I would just like to scream at the top of my lungs and say when!! When will I wake up and you not be the first thing on my mind. When will I drive down the road and something not remind me of something we did or said. When will I be able to use my hair straightener without crying because it reminds me of you. So to me I feel it will never get easier. Waking up and wanting to call you and tell you the fit that Kolt through last night or ask what are plans were for the day. You were the one friend I had that was my friend because of me. I knew no matter what I did or said that you were going to love me tomorrow even though you may not have agreed with it. You would laugh your ass off when it blew up in my face. But, I knew you would always be there to pick me up. You made me a better person just by being there. I like to think that I made you a better person too. I would just like to say that I am sorry there were so many people that did not get to see that change in you the way I did. I know that I will never find a friend like you again. One that has my back even when I am not around. So for that I would like to apologize to you for not being a better friend and voice my opinion more on your situation. Kelly nothing I say or do will bring you back to us. I hope you know that I would do anything to go back to May 25 and make you go with me to the school. But knowing now what we do it would have happened anyways but that would have given me one more day to see that beautiful smile and that wonderful laugh. That is what I miss the most. I know that you are with me everyday in spirit and I need you to give me the strength to take one step forward and not two back. Just remember that you were loved by so many, I just wish you knew that before. So to those who say it will get easier, I say to you. You did not know the same person that I knew the one that was excited about really getting to be a mom, Loved her family unconditionally no matter what, and the girl that dreamed of a loving husband with the white picket fence and the kids playing in the yard. And she promised me that I would not have to wear a ugly bridesmaid dress because she Loved me that much. I just wish everyone could have gotten to know the true Kelly Jo Elliott not the one she portrayed. For the longest time I thought she was this tough girl that didn't let anyone or anything get to her. But, I could never have been so wrong. The girl that everyone knew as the girl with the beautiful voice was also a beautiful person who cried when someone said something hurtful, or worried when someone she loved was sick or hurt. All she ever wanted to do is to make people proud of her and love her for who she was not who they thought she should be. Kelly I hope that you know that I would not change a thing about you baby girl I loved you for who you were and who you could have been if you would have been given the chance. So to those people that say it will get easier if you ever in your life time have someone with so many wonderful qualities taken away for no reason(and you can not give me a good one) and at such precious time in her life and it has gotten easier please tell me how you did it because I don't know how to because everything I do reminds me of her. Missing You Kelly Jo!!!