I found you, smiling down at me

It has been almost a year since you were taken away. I still cannot believe it has been that long, seems like yesterday when I first heard you did not come home. That first day I thought that maybe you were just out blowing off steam. The second morning when no one had heard from you, I knew something was wrong. I sat hear that weekend with the sickest feeling deep down in my stomach. I called everyone I knew to tell them to look for your car or you. I cried more that weekend than I have any other weekend in my life. I kept calling your phone praying to hear you say hello. I went everywhere and talked to people I had never seen with the hope they had seen you. As the hours turned to days, days turned into weeks, weeks into months and now months into a year. I wake up everyday hoping it was all a bad dream. I finally know that my life has to move forward and I have to keep living even if it is without you. It took me a long time to accept that you were not going to walk through my front door. I knew that from the beginning, but there was always that hope. Friends have come and gone like the seasons. Things have changed in so many ways, some for the best. Some, I would do anything to get back to the way they were. I sit and I stare out over the treetops with the sky turning so gray, I miss you sitting next to me. I want you back talking on the phone, yelling at me because I forgot Kiegan's jacket or just talking about what to do tomorrow. Nevertheless, I could give you a million and one reason’s you need to be hear, two big ones at the top! Waking up every morning, I think of you, wondering if you can hear me when I talk to you. Do you know how much you are missed? Do you know how much you were loved? Do you know how much you were counted on? I think about these things the most. I know that life will go on but life sucks without you in it! If you can hear me, I just want you to know that everything I am doing and will do in life is because of you. You are the reason that I have finally realized no one can make my dreams come true but me! I just hope you are with me every new step I take. You were the one that always believed in me and would never let anyone get in our way. Now, it is my turn, I will not let anyone or anything get in the way. Kelly, it may have taken me almost a year to finally get out of bed and look out over the treetops. What do you think I found? You, smiling down at me, that is when I new what to do and who to do it for! Kelly, I miss you more with each passing day. I would have never thought your heart could really hurt, but when I think about you and you not walking through my door my heart does hurts. It hurts now just as much as it did a year ago. I do not know when it will stop or if it ever will. One thing I do know. You have touched too many lives with your smile to be forgotten. Missed more than ever thought possible!